The Forever Weird Collection is inspired by my best friend Margaret, my sister, and I, and our jokes and adventures together.

Rubdown! is inspired by Margaret and my sister’s favorite way to embarrass me in public—one of them yells “Rubdown!” and they charge at me from opposite sides and rub my arms while making ridiculous fussing noises until I laugh so hard I cry from embarrassment. This has been going on for twenty years. I chose the color of the bridesmaid dresses that Margaret and I wore to my sister’s wedding, where a rubdown was captured on film.

Automotive Salad Toss is inspired by a car accident we were in at age 19. Margaret had been driving while I was eating a take-out salad in the front passenger seat of her car. We hit black ice and the car went spinning out of control. On impact, the salad flew out of my hands and all over my lap and the floor. Someone had recently enlightened us with the meaning of a certain slang phrase. The first words out of my mouth were, “You tossed my salad, Margaret!”

My Favorite French Hornist is inspired by Margaret’s participation in DePaul University’s pep band as a French hornist.

Margaret’s Threadbare Hoodie is inspired by the beloved navy blue zip-up hoodie that Margaret wore every single day of our adolescence. She literally wore the hoodie until it was so tattered that it just fell apart completely. No other hoodie has ever lived up to its magnificent example. RIP, navy hoodie.

Why Would I Wear Lipstick? is inspired by a truly ridiculous Margaret-ism. For over 20 years, she’s been curling her lips over her teeth until her lips disappear and asking, “Why would I wear lipstick if I don’t have any lips?”.